I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Houston, we have a squirter
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
