i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
