He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
