I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
