Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Randomize