i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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