I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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