Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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