So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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