just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
