awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
