dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
