real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
