Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
