Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
