I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
