I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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