it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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