alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
