You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
