so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
