so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize