He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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