Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
