Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
