with your own penis?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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