I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
