i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
