Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just pynch a tree in the face
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
