Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
