There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
