her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I want to be your penis for a week.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
