so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
