I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
