Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
