I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
NoShamevember. You game?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
