Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
