this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Its about making memories worth repressing
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
