drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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