Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
