dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
