I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
