He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
