i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
