I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
