just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
pop tarts are not kleenex
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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