Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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