i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
