I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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