Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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