You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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