it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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