I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
