You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
