we're blogging at a bar
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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