and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
