I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
