There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
